Shut Eye
by KinkerBelle
Summary: Rayne. Sometimes people just don't listen. And when they don't listen, Jayne gets a mite ornery. Another written for the quotechallenge.


Jayne held River a bit closer to him as she shivered the tiniest bit.

"You alright, doll?" He asked quietly, trying not to wake her completely. She'd been out for the better part of an hour on his chest and the poor thin needed the sleep. River hummed softly which Jayne knew meant she was fine. And she pulled his huge coat up further to cover all of her and most of him. She'd had a long ass day. And so, by extension, he'd had a long ass day.

First, they'd landed on this gorram backwater piece of go se moon, Odette. Farthest out one could get in the fifth quadrant and criminals knew it. So, it had seemed a fitting place for them to drop their goods. But when that job went remarkably smooth, Mal's sick magnetism for trouble fucked even that up.

Shocking.

He'd seen this casino up in town and reckoned that the takings could be pretty hefty and the security was most likely lacking. But he'd started thinking out loud in the bar they sat in and of all the ways to get caught, the local law over heard him!

Jayne didn't even struggle at first, just walked along, stunned by Mal's bad luck. He'd heard of some folk that was bad off and generally not so lucky but this was ruttin' ridiculous! And then one o' them goons working with the sheriff had gone and touched River.

Up until then, it was easy to blame the Captain, but Jayne was at least willing to admit the resulting bar fight was his fault. He knew that River could take care of herself and he actually found that awful sexy. However, jus' cuz she could didn't mean he was necessarily gonna leave her to fend off gorram hun dans what should know whose ruttin' girl she was. There was a ring on her finger, okay, not a wedding ring—but there was a matching one on his. Some folk jus' didn't pay attention.

They demolished the damn bar. River had gotten a little exercise in and really laid it into those lawmen. She got a little restless sometimes. Just another thing Jayne had in common with his girl, they had a mite bit of trouble sitting still occasionally. When the bar was in ruins, they figured to scrap the casino job even though Mal whined about it somethin' fierce.

They were nearly back to Serenity when they spotted the pirates. Yes, pirates. They had little Kaylee and Inara tied together while they questioned the Doc about the ship. Well questioned in the sense that they were beating him up and occasionally asking him what the entry sequence to the bridge was. Why they were asking the Doc and not Kaylee, the mechanic, Jayne wasn't really aware of but he didn't place a whole lot of stock in the intelligible-ness of said group.

Doc musta said somethin' because suddenly all but one had run off up the catwalks. So the rest of the crew figured that would be the best time for the rescuing. And it went well. They didn't get into anything that would hurt the ship, and Mal had gotten to shoot some folk for trying to steal his ship. And just when they were throwing out the pirates and readying themselves for takeoff, the second wave of lawmen came and caught them in the act of disposing of the pirates.

There was about twenty more of 'em that second time all armed twice as heavily as Jayne. Probably wasn't so much the local law as the local law's friends. It was not worth the fight. And Jayne was a bit tuckered out so… he went, tucking River neatly into his side.

Mal was not pleased. He wanted to fight for his ship and do some more shooting. Jayne had a different set of goals, though. Like staying alive and all that. Mal muttered all the way to the jail house. "Ya done gone soft! Where's my badass merc, on holiday? Gorram relationships, makin' my crew soft and useless!" And it was a mark on how tired River was that she only kicked Mal in the shin once for insulting her man. Jayne was pretty much used to Mal insulting him and he found it amusing that suddenly Mal thought he was more of a badass than him.

And that was how they got hauled to the clink. The whole crew plus Inara was sitting in one jail cell, and it was getting a bit chilly. The two killers on the crew had been working on some body heat to keep themselves toasty since they got in; River had known the temperature would drop.

Zoe was out cold in the corner. Jayne figured that, like him, years of catching sleep simply when you could in places that weren't always comfortable, was allowing her the rest she was getting. Mal was being his usual noble self and letting everyone else rest while he took a watch, looking for a rescue opportunity. Kaylee would have been able to sleep just fine, because that girl could sleep through a meteor shower (and once almost did, which is how he knew), but it looked like somethin' was worryin' at her. She looked tense and a touch angry.

Inara and Simon had the worst of it. They were both sitting, backs perfectly straight against the same wall, shivering with cold and constantly shifting around to get comfortable. Mal got to noticin' this as well.

"Doc, 'Nara, what the hell they teach ya in the Core they don't inform you, you aint gonna get comfortable in a jail cell?" He said, grinning a little bit and never taking his eyes from the bars that held them in said cell.

They both glared in reply. Inara pulled it off rather well, glare about as icy as the room she was in. Simon was less successful as a huge shiver rocked it body at the exact moment and just sort of made him look like a wet kitten. It made Jayne chuckle.

And then it made him smug because he and his girl were the only ones that were smart enough to think up a nice way to keep warm. He liked that his girl was so smart. Jayne fondly stroked her hair, the part that peaked out from under his cunning hat. She sighed happily under him.

"Are we going to be here all night?" Simon asked petulantly.

"Yes." River answered sleepily. And Jayne threw Simon a look that clearly said not to disturb her further. Mal chuckled at it and settled himself into the back right corner near Zoe and opposite Jayne and River's corner.

"Best you find a way to stay warm, Doc." He said, settling down with his head pillowed his arm. Simon shivered and pouted. It occurred to Jayne just then that he wasn't snuggled up with Kaylee. Which was right weird, now that he was noticing it.

Since Miranda, which was two and a half gorram years ago, those two were damn near inseparable. It was pretty sickening, when you thought about it. Everyone had thought it was just the honeymoon phase, but it got cleaer over time that that was just how they were. Sickly sweet. It had made Jayne awful grumpy until he'd hooked up with River. She kept him occupied most times now so he didn't have to watch them moon over each other. So it didn't feel no kinds o' right that they weren't even on the same side of the room; weren't cuddlin', nor whisperin', nor even speaking to each other, now that he took note of it.

Jayne threw a confused look to Mal and darted his eyes to the pair to indicate his question. Mal nodded, he'd noticed too, and shrugged; he didn't know either. Jayne turned his confused glance to Inara, whom normally he didn't interact with that much but maybe she would know what was going on.

Generally, Jayne didn't care one whit about the Doctor's love life, but if this tension was gonna make a more complicated escape operation tomorrow, it was something that needed to be dealt with. (And to a lesser extent, River might have to leave to spend time with her brother and that meant less time around her, which was not what Jayne considered fun.) Inara gave the same shrug but he could tell she knew something about it, she just couldn't say it out loud.

The large mercenary sighed and cuddled River a bit closer, figuring he'd just have to catch enough sleep to be extra alert tomorrow. Just when he was nodding off he heard a little sniffle. It was real quiet and he thought he'd imagined it for a second but then he heard it again. And then again, louder this time. He opened his eyes and raised his head tiniest bit. Kaylee was curled up in a tiny ball and shaking a bit.

To say Jayne was alarmed was an understatement. Crying girls were not something he could deal with. Well, River was different, he somehow always managed to find something to say when his girl was upset. But this was Kaylee and wasn't the Doc supposed to take care o' this? He glanced over to Mal, who was awake now too, Kaylee had gotten louder.

Mal looked around to see if anyone else was awake and when he caught Jayne's eye, he shot him a panic-stricken look. They both had no clue what to do. Mal tried first nervously.

"Kaylee." He whispered. Nothing, she didn't even pause like the heard him.

"Kaylee." Jayne said this time, trying not to wake River in the process. The mechanic was unmoved. Jayne huffed in irritation and placed a gentle hand over River ear that wasn't pressed against his chest and tried once more. "Kaylee! Shut up!" Finally her head snapped up.

She looked miserable. Red eyes all swollen up and Jayne was very aware that if he could have backed away, he would have. "Whyfore you cryin'?"

"Simon!" Se nearly shouted, and whatever daze of light sleep the Doctor had been in was shattered by his name. He gave a start and knocked his head on the cold stone behind him.

"What?" he said sleepily.

"Yer girl's cryin'! Fix it! Quiet-like. Don't wake River." Jayne hissed at him, still covering River's ear.

Simon frowned and turned to glance at Kaylee. When Simon realized she was crying, his jaw hit the floor and he scrambled over to her. Frantically he checked over her for any sign of injury.

"Bao bei, are you hurt? Tell me what's wrong! Is it a stomach ache, did you twist your ankle?" Simon ran through a list of injuries it could be possible she might have that he wouldn't see with his eyes. All the while she just cried louder and Jayne was on the fast track to knocking some skulls.

"Shut it, you two! Ya caint fix yer relationship quietly?!" Jayne whispered, glaring at them harshly. Simon returned a nasty look and tried to calm Kaylee.

Mal chimed in from across the room. "Mei mei, I know yer upset but we don't need no undue attention comin' to this here cell, dong ma? Button it up!"

"What's going on?" Inara said, voice sleep laden, while yawning loudly.

And Jayne growled…softly. What part of 'My girl needs some shut eye' did folk just not comprehend? Gorramit! Sometimes he swore he was working with space monkeys. And he was supposed to be the ape? Ha!

River shifted against him and he could tell she was on the verge of waking up. He tried to sooth her by rubbing circles in her back and it worked a little bit, she settled down. Meanwhile, on the other side of the cell Simon had taken Kaylee's face into his hands.

"Kaylee, what's wrong? Why are you crying?' At least he was hushing himself up, trying to be quiet. Kaylee was making no such effort.

"We have to break up!" She wailed.

Jayne's eyes rolled to the ceiling and he mouthed 'Why?' to whatever deity was laughing at them right now. Mal groaned and banged his head against the floor in frustration. It wasn't a long enough day already? They had to witness _this_ argument? Now?

This was a regular occurrence in the saga of Simon and Kaylee. Periodically he just did dumb shit. Said something mean 'bout the ship, said something that made her feel ugly, said something that made her feel lower than him. Boy just couldn't keep his trap shut. And it always ended with her bawlin' and carryin' on and tellin' him they had to break up cuz he didn't love her no more.

Somewhere in between the sobs and Mal frantically telling them to shut up, Jayne was able to make out that when the pirates were beating up Simon, he'd given the entry sequence to the engine room instead of the bridge. And this, to Kaylee, meant that he was willing to let the room get banged up and looted. Which (clearly) meant that he didn't care about the ship. Or her.

Jayne felt a headache begin.

"Is that even logic?" Mal muttered from the other side of the room.

Simon looked confused. How new and exciting. Jayne was a mite surprised the Doc's face hadn't gotten stuck like that. But then something new did happen. Simon got this real angry look on his face and Jayne was pretty sure he was watching him snap. Really, on some level he didn't blame the Doc. Kaylee was a real brat about this consistent argument. And when Jayne Cobb recognized something as childish, there might be a problem.

"This is ABSURD, Kaylee!" He screamed. And River jolted awake.

Jayne's palm flew to his face in a desperate effort to calm the storm beginning behind his eyes. "Chimps." He muttered in awe. "I'm working with chimps."

Simon was now in a shouting match with Kaylee. Well, he was shouting, she was sobbing. They were both crying. At least Kaylee had quieted down some.

River frowned tiredly. "Jayne, what's happening? What's so loud?"

He wrapped his arm around her tight and kissed her forehead. "Nothin' to worry about, doll. Go back ta sleep, yeah?" She yawned and her head fell back on his chest.

Jayne turned to the fighting couple and once more covered River's ears before he bellowed in their direction.

"**HEY!** Let's play a game. It's called 'Shut Yer Gorram Face If Ya Just Got Dumped By a Mechanic'! First prize is me not kicking yer ass!"

They were both stunned into silence. Jayne smirked. "Ya'll are good at this game. Now you **will** settle this gorram thing quietly and not wake my girl or so help me I will drop kick you all the way back to the Core!"

He finished in a harsh whisper. The pair looked a little ashamed and turned to each other slowly. And what's more, they didn't raise there voices again. They settled themselves in their usual teary and sickly sweet manner. Simon explained he'd given the engine room code because it was the only ten number code he could think of and he thought it would buy them some time. Kaylee forgave him and said she was sorry about being so insecure. They cuddled close afterwards.

Mal looked around the room in shock. Then turned to Jayne. "How d'ya do that?"

Jayne shrugged. "I am the ultimate badass." He stated, then curled up into his girlfriend, ready to finally get some shut eye.


End file.
